If I could oh how I would..

There are days when I swear that I am going to lose my mind. As much as I love the Bean and his daddy, they both drive me crazy.

I'm still trying to finish off the Christmas stuff. Not going very well since I have no idea what to get for who and where I'm going to get it from.

Then I finally get the call that I have been waiting for since July... My Bean has an official appointment with the Autism team this is the best news that I have had in for ever. Mind you I had to call and be a nice pushy about getting him in. I swear that it is harder to get into this clinic then it is to win the lotto. But oh how good it feels to have some light coming my way.

There are days though that I wish that I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away Oh if I could. We wouldn't be in this spot and my son... well I wouldn't be so afraid for him. I know that I shouldn't be this afraid of things but I guess that it's part of the process of learning how to deal with every thing. It's hard, it is the hardest thing that I have ever had to learn to do. Be a mom to a son with Autism. Unless you are one, you have no idea what it feels like.

My own mother has no idea, she thinks that she does.
Most of my family treat the bean different then the rest of the kids. Heck they won't let me tell the rest of the kids that he is Autistic I don't know if that is a good idea or not. I haven't told alot of people IRL. They don't seem to understand. They nod there heads make a clucking sound and tell me that I can handle it and he'll be ok.

I know that he will be okay. I'll make sure of that.